It's okay to depend on friends

In my current field of work - nonprofits, NGOs, aid, development - there is a lot of talk about 'dependency.' The idea is that if one person helps a second person for some length of time, the second person will become dependent on the first person's help, and won't be able to fend for himself (gender bias unintended - another big NGO concern).

Here in Uganda I often hear that we should not give 'handouts' to 'locals' because 'locals' will become 'dependent' on 'handouts.' The prevailing wisdom says that my every interaction with a Ugandan will effect the 'stereotype' of the 'white man' giving 'handouts' to 'locals.'

But what about when 'locals' become friends? What happens when we're no longer 'white man' and 'local,' but just together, talking, relaxing? And what happens when my friend has a need he is too poor to meet and I have more money than I need to spend?

Then, my friends, I am happy to build dependency. Because then it's not the 'white man' that my friend depends on. It's his community, of which I am a part. And after all, that's what we all crave: A community that we can depend upon. Sometimes that means family, sometimes friends, sometimes religion, sometimes clubs and teams and gangs and book clubs.

So here's to dependency. I hope that someday you all find yourselves wonderfully dependent.

Charity and The Answer

The non-profits (or NGOs) here in Uganda are doing some amazing things. We are serving and saving a lot of people. But not all of them. In fact, not close.

And this place, Gulu, may be the best they can do. All the big boys are here (UN, Red Cross, AVSI, MSF, and scores of others); it's pretty peaceful now; there's a limited population living discrete, accessible areas. But still we can't reach them all. Again, not even close.

The NGOs are doing amazing things. But they are not The Answer, they will not save the world, or even change it all that much. Why? Because we are only a few people trying to fulfill the responsibilities of millions.

The world won't be changed by millions of people writing a check and going about their lives. It isn't changed by projects and programs. The world is changed when people change. Millions of them. When they care enough to get involved with the people around them. When they see the needs of their neighbors as their responsibility. That will change the world.