It's okay to depend on friends

In my current field of work - nonprofits, NGOs, aid, development - there is a lot of talk about 'dependency.' The idea is that if one person helps a second person for some length of time, the second person will become dependent on the first person's help, and won't be able to fend for himself (gender bias unintended - another big NGO concern).

Here in Uganda I often hear that we should not give 'handouts' to 'locals' because 'locals' will become 'dependent' on 'handouts.' The prevailing wisdom says that my every interaction with a Ugandan will effect the 'stereotype' of the 'white man' giving 'handouts' to 'locals.'

But what about when 'locals' become friends? What happens when we're no longer 'white man' and 'local,' but just together, talking, relaxing? And what happens when my friend has a need he is too poor to meet and I have more money than I need to spend?

Then, my friends, I am happy to build dependency. Because then it's not the 'white man' that my friend depends on. It's his community, of which I am a part. And after all, that's what we all crave: A community that we can depend upon. Sometimes that means family, sometimes friends, sometimes religion, sometimes clubs and teams and gangs and book clubs.

So here's to dependency. I hope that someday you all find yourselves wonderfully dependent.